Whenever I reach the end of my road, I do not want to look back on my life and say “I was merely happy”. I want more than that. I want to look back on my life and say, “yes my life was rich, and I experienced my moments deeply”. With this I will be satisfied.
My name is Leah Worsnop, and for a little over 18 months I have been the Choir Director at Trinity School for Seniors in Perth, Western Australia. I’ve also run some computer classes and done a little work in the office there. What is remarkable about this you say? Well not a lot, apart from I am the youngest tutor at the school by far – when I started I was only 21! Unfortunately life’s responsibilities have called me away from what I fondly refer to as “my old ducks”, and it is with more than a little regret that I walk away from my choir and the school.
I remember very clearly how I first got involved at the school. I had had some involvement with the Uniting Church in the City, and I received an email telling me that the position of choir director at the school was coming available and that I should apply for the position. I had had no experience directing a choir РI was a trained classical singer, but had never picked up a baton in my life! Very gingerly I emailed my resum̩ to the School Coordinator, expecting no response, or at best a polite rejection. I was more than a little surprised to have a phone call from her asking me to come in for a chat. When I came for the interview I met the most lovely, unassuming lady. She was the first of my many blessings at the school. Her gentle, kind, dignified and incredibly supportive nature have been a God-send to me, and I am truly grateful for having her there to help me steer my way through a not-always-easy job.
To cut a long story short, I got the job. After attending a lesson with the previous choir director, I had a few weeks before the new term started and I stood at the helm of the Trinity School for Seniors choir. I took this time to write a new map for the choir – I set out a new cultural direction, decided to completely change the way rehearsals were run, and I chose a very different repertoire and musical curriculum than they had done previously. Young, inexperienced, and taking a huge risk!
So the very first day of my new job, I walked into the rehearsal room with a fistful of photocopied sheet music, a choir plan, a new accompanist to meet, and 25 odd choir members to meet. I was incredibly nervous – I expected to be hesitantly accepted with a few challenges at best, and at worst to be flat out rejected by the group as being unsuitable to run the choir. Phrases such as “young whipper-snapper” were running helter skelter through my head. However, I went into the classroom with a brave smile and an incredibly over-rehearsed lesson plan, and for reasons only known to the big guy upstairs, I was warmly welcomed by the group, and the rehearsal went much better than I had expected!
Over the months I became more and more familiar with the group, and through our weekly rehearsals and a few performances, and after some interesting repertoire and some even more interesting directives from me, the quality of the musicianship within the ensemble improved immensely, and the culture within the choir changed dramatically: I was so proud!
During the incredibly long and slightly boring break in the holiday period of 2010/2011, I got to a bit of thinking about the school, and my choir, and how it all fitted in to the big picture of my life. On thinking, I discovered that “my old ducks” had somehow radically altered my outlook on life – without me even noticing it! Gone were the outlandish goals and desires to achieve great things and greatness! Gone was the destination-focus! Gone was a lot of my materialism, and wanting the most and the best and the shiniest! I realised that in the twilight years, there is no great career to strive to develop. Nor a young, handsome special man to hope to meet (some exceptions though!), and no children to look forward to having and bringing up. I thought, well what is there to look forward to, to live for? They didn’t seem to be miserable, some of the stories they told proved that their lives had rarely been easy, but most of the time they seemed to be truly satisfied. How could this be? With the end of the road looming towards them, how could they seem to be so content? So eager to learn? So filled with a lust for life? And then it struck me. The point of life is not outlandish goals, but filling every day with interesting, enjoyable things, as well as the necessary mundane things. Life is not about hanging onto every minute and being scared to let go, but allowing time to roll freely by while you chase things which amaze you; and revelling in the rich experiences along the way, both good and bad. Life is not about the destination, it is about the journey.
Where I once was undecided as to what I wanted to do and be, I now have been shown the way. And that way is not seeking status or occupation or materialistic wealth; it is to live simply, freely, and with morality and passion – and to enjoy living. And so I thank my seniors for making me see what is important. I am incredibly privileged to have been allowed this sneak-preview into what life is all about. I feel like I have been given a seat on the express train of life’s lessons during my time at the school, and I’m very lucky to have had this!
So in summary, I am not thankful for being allowed to teach at the school, but for being allowed to learn! I've been shown wisdom, how pleasurable the small things are, and that life is more enjoyable when you embrace imperfection. I am grateful to have been able to share life with a small but wonderful part of humanity.
Leah Worsnop
August 2011
